i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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