She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
