Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
