I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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