Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
