If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
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