don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
