FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize