We named our party play list daddy issues
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
