i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
