White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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