I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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