i think i have herpe
just one?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize