Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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