I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
