That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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