Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize