Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
