just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
