shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'm too high and old for this...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
