Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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