I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
