if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Randomize
