Midget sex pt 2 tonight
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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