That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
