I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
