I don't usually arrange sex via text message
oh god the rape fog is back!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
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