It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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