Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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