I smell stomach acid.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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