And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
