oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
