You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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