i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
