we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
