'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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