The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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