The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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