eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
