I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
