Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
