I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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