I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
