dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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