I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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