so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
