That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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