just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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