Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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