so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
