ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
