Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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