Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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