If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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