I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I look better un-naked...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
