I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
