Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
