He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
