THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
