Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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