I think scott just propositioned me for sex
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Panties = found
Randomize
