I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize