what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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