sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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