Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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