Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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