hotel room ftw
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
