Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
