don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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