i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
