you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
