Im at strip club and am horny
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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