so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
