omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize