bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
