One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
