after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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