I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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