I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
