I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize