He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
